Barking School for Clucks

Hey! Max again!

So I recently watched one of my humans, Savannah, do an online class thing. Her human teacher told her about a final assignment. She was supposed to pretend she was teaching an "English" class, which I think is weird because she already speaks the language. I decided to try something similar, but instead of a human, I'll be teaching the new creatures living in my house, I call them clucks, how to bark! Now, I know what you other dogs are thinking, why would a dog try to teach a cluck how to bark instead of eating them? Let me put it this way, I've tried; the humans always catch me. So, I thought I would try to make the best of this.

Day One: Training Hedwig

This is Hedwig:

She is Savannah's cluck. I decided that it would be easiest if I trained one at a time. So I decided to start with Hedwig.

First I bark at her. She jumps away and does her cluck thing. This is going to take longer than I thought, I groan. I walk up to her quietly. I give her a little bark, just soft so she doesn't get scared again. She looks at me curiously. Alright, now we're getting somewhere. I bark again, the same amount of softness. She replied - I think - with a cluck. I felt like barking really loud, out of happiness, but then I remembered what happened the first time with the cluck and I decided against it. But, we're making progress.

Day Two: Training Eggsy

This is Eggsy:

She is the older male's cluck. Training her is a little harder than training Hedwig. Eggsy is the loudest cluck out of all of them. She clucks and clucks non-stop. She is also very active, so she doesn't sit still at all. It's as if she thinks she's an eagle, ready to do anything. I try to train her just like I did with Hedwig, but she doesn't listen much so I had to figure out another way. I decided to figure out what to do in a couple days.

Day Three: Training Hei Hei

This is Hei Hei:

I think she got her name from one of the humans repeatedly say, "Hey, stop it! Hey, hey, hey!" I also remember watching a movie with the little humans. It was about a girl named Moana I think. Anyway, Hei Hei is the little humans' cluck. I think she is the second loudest, after Eggsy, of course. Training her was difficult, but I tried it anyway. First, I barked at her, softly. She didn't react. I tried again. Nothing happened. I tried again. Same result. I inwardly groaned. She's impossible! I try one more time, louder. She turns her head towards me, but then looks away. Oh well. I guess that should be all for today, I thought. I'll try again when I'm done training the others. I put Hei Hei back in her cage.

Day Four: Training Coconut

This is Coconut:

To me, she looks like one of those creatures that fly around at night. The humans call those creatures owls, I think. My humans insist on calling her a chicken. I don't know why. I feel bad that they always call her scared. She is one of the older female humans' cluck. Anyway, back to the training - it's not going real well. I tried the same trick that I did with Hedwig. It worked for a little bit, but she soon forgot all about me and went back to eat her food.

The Next Day:

Okay, so after day four, I decided not to train them anymore. As I reflect on what happened during the past few days, I came to realize that... training them is just too hard. I know you other dogs look at me and see this amazing, carefree, never say never kind of dog, but in reality, only some of that is true. The clucks are four weeks old and act like the little humans who don't listen to anyone. The clucks were so hard to take care of that, after I was done training Coconut, I passed out on the couch. If any other dogs out there want to try something like this, make sure, before you start, you have enough patience to go through with what you're thinking. I'm going to go take a nap now. Until next time!

Hi! This is Savannah. I just found my dog passed out on my couch with this page open on my computer. So I, being the person that I am, decided to take a look. It is my computer, after all. From what I can tell, Max has been doing a very good job writing these posts. I do have some suggestions though. One would be to actually listen to what we're saying and not make up random words. Max, this one is pointed towards you. "Clucks" is not what they're called; they are called chickens. Also, when you're trying to train them, give them treats when they do it right. That's what we "humans" do to train dogs. But, over all, I think you did a very good job. It takes a lot of work to train a chicken. I just hope other dogs out there can be as good a dog as you are. I love you and you are the best friend a girl like me could have. Good luck writing this blog!